Dating Tips for Geeks – Tell her you’re an Airline Pilot

Photo by A Currell on Flickr

Photo by A Currell on Flickr

When it comes to chatting up the ladies, you might think it to be a disadvantage to mention that you have a boring job. I mean, how do you go about impressing?

“Hallowww, my name’s Aarnold, I’m an accountant. I deal with nummbers. I fill up forms for a living.” (Try and imagine John Major saying this).

John Major

John Major

(For those who do not know, John Major was once Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, probably the greyest of the grey men – he was even a bank manager in his past life.)

I cannot really advise on this myself. I just tell people that I’m a tax lawyer, and that’s that. I did in fact  get a positive response once: “Oh that’s quite interesting”, but this has to be tempered with the fact that the lady in question was a real estate lawyer, whom I’d met at one of those after work legal seminars – so she probably knew a bit about my subject – more likely, she was probably just being polite.

However, there’s good news if you happen to be in the US. Apparently, a tax lawyer is considered to be an eligible bachelor (unless of course, he’s already married – in which case, he’s an eligible sugar daddy). How do I know this? Because once upon a time I had a number of female “chat-friends” from the US, and whenever I asked them advice on how to approach the opposite sex, they invariably told me “Why don’t you tell them you do tax?”

I thought they were joking at first – but no, they were all quite serious about it. Tax is a highly paid profession, and what attractive young lady could possibly object to a wealthy boyfriend?

I confess I’ve never had the opportunity of finding this out for myself. I do however, have a story of what happened to a friend of mine, a fellow tax lawyer, who was embarrassed about his profession. He was actually a partner in a law firm – so even more eligible than me by US standards. However, he wasn’t in the US at the time, but in the soggy old North of England.

Tim met a girl at a nightclub who he wanted to impress, so he got chatting to her. He was so desperate anxious to make a good impression, that he managed to convince himself and his victim that he was an airline pilot. Now this idea didn’t actually pop into his head out of the blue. Oh no. You see, somewhere in his professional past, he once did some work on aircraft leasing, for which there are/were quite a few tax breaks. By a very long, and tortuous line of reasoning – so tortuous that I couldn’t exactly follow it – he claimed that he wasn’t that far away from getting his pilot’s license at the very least.

Well, it was a huge success. They both hit it off together, until she found out the truth. Went all the way downhill from there. Poor Tim. But at least she found out before he’d managed to convince her that he could actually fly one of those things…


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